Wednesday, September 23, 2009

God Speaks

Yes, we were on the quest to wait. Yes, I was struggling with this decision. Yes, I accidentally got pregnant. It was a tubal pregnancy, so I guess it's not much of a surprise. We don't use birth control because we know that an embryo cannot implant in my uterus without assistance. Since it wasn't a viable pregnancy, it wasn't planned, and I didn't even know about it until I knew something was wrong, it wasn't terribly painful to lose. I did have to have the entire tube removed, and that's a bit frightening considering that I want more children. I did have to undergo surgery, hormonal changes, and painful (physically) symptoms of a miscarriage. In the end, I'll conclude that this was God's confirmation that the right choice for us is to wait a few months. There's some sense of relief when the decision is taken out of my hands, but I know the struggle will re-surface as soon as my body returns to normal. God, help me!

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