Wednesday, May 27, 2009

To Dallas, With Love...

I am a Dallas girl. In fact, I am such a Dallas girl that a friend used to call me "Dallas." Yes, I WAS Dallas. I knew the "right" people, drove the "right" vehicle, and had the "right" look. By the time I was in college (which, interestingly enough, didn't happen to be in Dallas) I definitely grew into the part. I love it when my dad pays for me to have a great haircut and a blond "touch-up." I love it when my step-mother, the undeniably best in Dallas, gives me a long, luxurious, and gossip-filled facial. I love cruising around Highland Park in a luxury vehicle. I love Whole Foods and great eateries. I love being treated like a high-roller. Lord help me, but I sure do love Neiman's and Northpark. I love the specialty stores and the beautiful people. I adore the beautiful homes and the old sections of town. I'm nestalgic for the quiet, tree-lined drive down Hillcrest. I love having grounded and informed opinions about the private schools and the cultures therein. I love knowing people wherever I go. I love that the city is full of MY history and the people I love.

I don't live in Dallas anymore. I don't live the image that I had for myself when I grew up in Dallas. My life is wonderful, however. I have a happy, healthy marriage and a equally wonderful baby boy. I live near my beloved in-laws, and I've escaped the "bad" in Dallas. I was happy to flee from the pressures to live "THE" Dallas life. I was happy to quit caring about how I looked when I went to the grocery store and whom I ran into at the restaurants. I was happy to find a town in which my vehicle's make didn't preceed my character. I was happy to have a fresh place in which to share my more mature and gentle character. I'm happy not to take myself too seriously, to joke around with the "help." I'm happy that having "help" isn't expected in my town. I'm happy that I don't have to wear lables. I'm happy that I don't feel the pressures to enjoy the costly luxuries I grew up enjoying. Yes, I am happy.

But I miss Dallas. I am a Dallas girl, but I don't think Dallas will ever again be my home. For the first time since leaving ten years ago, I wish I lived there, the place that will always be home to my heart. Dallas, I forgive you your transgressions, and I hope you will forgive me mine.

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